Marriage in Islam: Purpose and Principles

A woman once came to the Prophet ﷺ and offered herself in marriage to him. He said nothing for a long while, and when she remained standing, a man in the gathering spoke up: “Marry her to me, if you have no need of her.” The Prophet ﷺ asked whether he had anything to give her as a mahr. He didn’t – not even a cloak. “Go and look,” the Prophet ﷺ told him, “even for an iron ring.” The man searched and came back with nothing. So the Prophet ﷺ asked what portion of the Quran he had memorized, and married him to her on the condition that he teach her what he knew. Sahih al-Bukhari (5871) and Sahih Muslim (1425) both preserve the exchange, and scholars have long pointed to it as a deliberate correction to the idea that marriage in Islam is primarily a financial transaction – the mahr matters, but it scales to what a person actually has, down to a ring of iron or a portion of memorized scripture.

Tranquility, Love, and Mercy

Surah ar-Rum contains the verse most often cited on marriage: “And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy” (30:21). Classical exegetes single out the three distinct terms – sakinah, tranquility; mawaddah, love; rahmah, mercy – as together describing something that combines emotional warmth with a steadier form of care, the kind meant to hold even on the days feeling alone would come easily.

Garments for One Another

Surah al-Baqarah describes spouses as garments for each other (2:187), an image classical scholars have unpacked from several angles: garments sit closest to the body of anyone who wears them, and they offer both comfort and modesty at once – a metaphor read as capturing intimacy, protection, and the mutual concealment of each other’s faults that marriage is meant to provide.

Half of One’s Religion

A hadith recorded by al-Bayhaqi has the Prophet ﷺ teaching that a person who marries has completed half of their religion, and should be mindful of Allah regarding the half that remains – language scholars read as pointing to the stability and lawful outlet marriage provides, the kind that makes sustained religious discipline considerably easier to sustain than it would otherwise be.

Not a Concession to Weakness

Ibn Majah records the Prophet ﷺ stating plainly that marriage is from his sunnah, and whoever turns away from his sunnah is not of him – a line scholars cite against strands of asceticism, present in some religious traditions, that treat celibacy as the higher spiritual state. Islamic teaching positions marriage as the norm and the encouraged path, not a concession granted to those unable to reach a more elevated single life.

Consent First, Realistic Expectations Second

Classical jurisprudence, drawing on hadith describing the Prophet ﷺ voiding a marriage a woman had not genuinely consented to, treats free, informed consent from both parties as foundational to a valid marriage contract – not a formality to be worked around. Scholars pair this with a caution against expecting friction-free compatibility from day one: a hadith in Sahih Muslim has the Prophet ﷺ instructing a man not to resent his wife over one trait he dislikes, since another trait he’s pleased with is just as likely to be found in her.

What the Prophet ﷺ Said to Prioritize

Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim record the Prophet ﷺ naming four qualities people typically weigh when choosing a spouse – wealth, lineage, beauty, and religious commitment – and instructing that religious commitment should decide it, warning otherwise of ruin. Scholars don’t read this as dismissing the other three, since compatibility and mutual attraction are addressed elsewhere as legitimate considerations, but as settling which one wins when they pull in different directions. A related hadith recorded by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah instructs that when someone of sound religious commitment and good character proposes, the proposal shouldn’t be delayed or refused over status or wealth – doing so, the hadith warns, invites exactly the kind of corruption and discord in society that letting purely financial considerations override character was meant to prevent.

What happens after the contract – the specific rights each spouse holds over the other – is covered separately in Rights and Responsibilities Between Spouses in Islam.